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Day 2

Today I picked up the Creativity BOOK by Eric Maisel (author of Deep Writing and Fearless Creating) again after a month’s hiatus.  I had bought the book earlier in the year when I found it in a store by the Jewish Contemporary Museum in San Francisco precisely around the time I decided to learn to be a more creative person.  I love it when we stroll along and the universe just ups and hands to us what we ask for.

The book was perfect!  I even bent my own rule to not buy another book until I finished the one I was reading because I didn’t know when I would come across this piece of magic again.  The book promises to be a year’s worth of Inspiration and Guidance, with suggestions of a few exercises every week.  At the end, for about eight weeks, followers (because by this point, I’m confident ‘readers’ will be doing more than just reading) dedicate themselves to working on the creative project of their choosing. It took many months before I started on the book, though, and the last time I did something on it, I was pretty sure I was going to keep on the path. But I strayed.  Until this afternoon.

Before I carry on, I must say that yesterday’s practise of doing absolutely nothing feels like I had pressed a reset button.  The effect was subtle, but today I really feel like I’m up for more things.  Essentially, I feel more energised.  Let’s see if this continues. Back to the book.  I opened it to next exercise that I would have to do.  Lo and behold, today I am supposed to do nothing.  For 20 minutes, I am to remain silent, my hands free, not watching TV, not even meditating, just nothing.  The exercise is meant to show time.  The premise is, when people want to, they make time, even if they are the busiest person on earth.  And people who don’t have the motivation may have all the time in the world, but find none to create what they say they want to create.  In the author’s words, we can ‘make a quarter hour appear from nowhere if that’s really (our) heart’s desire, wanting it to appear is proof that you’re becoming an everyday creative person.’

Do I want it?  And then, do I want it enough?

I was ready to challenge myself with these questions.  My dreams have been held hostage on my wrists for a long time.  I look at them, not quite trusting, but unwilling for them to take flight for fear that they will take me away.  Isn’t that what dreams are supposed to do, though?  Carry you away and let you be but a small instrument in its becoming?

Hmm.. it strikes me that lack of confidence has a lot to do with the abundance of ego.

Park that for now, and I return to today’s exercise to becoming an Everyday Creative and why it is perfectly aligned to the Joy Intensive experiment, Day 2 of Week 5.  I get to do nothing.  It was for twenty minutes. So I set the alarm on the mobile phone, sat with my hands on the writing table (devoid of laptop or any writing instruments) and let time pass by.

It took all of two minutes before my hands reached out to the phone to see how much time had passed.  I put the phone down and promised myself not to check the time again.  Boy, twenty minutes is a long time.  I hear the world outside my room moving along and felt left behind.  I became jealous of the chirping birds, because at least they were alive, living out their day, while I was here watching the wall willing for something exciting to happen.  I saw two houseflies appear, and lamented inwardly.

My mind wandered a few times, but I brought it back to the present.  When I daydream, time can pass so quickly, but I am aware that the kind of daydreaming that consumes my time is not the type that will bring me closer to my dreams. It took some amount of willpower not to check the time.  My hands and legs started to fidget.  I wanted to get up and move about, maybe exercise, do some squats and push ups.  No, dear.  Stay and learn.

At the end of the twenty minutes, the first thing I did was check my messages.  Aha.  Another awareness – that I am so addicted.  Ironic that the phone is one of my biggest time-wasters and I went straight for it.

So today’s experiment was not precisely without it’s goal.  I learnt, though, what twenty minutes of doing naught felt like.  At the end of this short experiment, I’m happy with myself.  Why?  Because I am actually doing something about what I’ve always wanted, fulfilling instead of postponing a promise I made to myself.  There’s a lot of joy in that.